MPI is evil (and scary) and they must be stopped!

[Michael Owen]

I can prove it. MPI is offering something called virtual access pass for content from World Education Conference - and they have the nerve to ask me to pay for it. How dare they adopt a business model with which I don’t agree. They must be evil as only I am the keeper of the correct approach do doing business. There’s no way this could be a simple difference of opinion. It must be a plot to take away my right to everything for free. And since they haven’t engaged with me at exactly a time and place of my choosing, I decided that they do not listen at all. Sad. You would think they are in the process of moving an army of staff to Salt Lake City for their largest conference of the year or something.

And they are scary. I write this from an undisclosed location (aka my Mother’s basement) so that they won’t find me. Even so, I would not be surprised if their member repercussion squad is not outside my door at this very moment, paper bag of dog poo in hand, ready to set it afire, ring our doorbell and run! I heard once of an MPI member on a site visit on Lover’s Lane on the same day a deranged one-armed person escaped a mental institution. They heard a noise and took off. When they got out of the car, they discovered a hook hanging from the door – along with the remnants of an MPI name tag.

How could they have possibly grown to 24,000 members with such a poor value proposition if they aren’t evil? I envision that Bruce guy in a gray Nehru jacket, stroking a cat, pinky to lip, exclaiming, we will soon have one MILLION members! MU HU HU HA HAH HAH HAH! MU HU HU HA HAH HAH HAH!

[Jeff Hurt]

Yes, it is scary. And in the words of Elmer Fudd, "We should all be vewwy, vewwy afwaid!"

The evil MPI mafia is out to get us or at least make their share of money from us. We should know by now that the mafia lies, they never tell the truth, that their membership is declining and that the rules change at their whim. We should know by now never to question the MPI mafia about the value of our annual payments. That the annual $375 membership fee get us what we've received in the past, status quo services and protection.

Heck, we should know that the mafia’s leadership is chosen by a backroom, closed-door, cigar smoking, cussing and old guard nominating committee. We should know by now that we can only approve or reject new mafia leaders and we don't get to have a say in voting for two different candidates for each position. We must remember that the MPI mafia has such an engaged membership that they only require 20% quorum to pass a vote or 5% quorum for a vote in person.

We should know by now that the MPI mafia does not believe in community engagement and will silence anyone that questions them. Off with their heads, slash their throats, tie concrete to their feet and throw them in the river. They will make a public scene of anyone that disagrees. They are not to question the MPI mafia!

We should know that the mafia has recruited 24,000 paying members so those individuals can put it on their resumes that they’ve paid and receive better jobs and protection. Yet we had better be fearful because that 24,000 member base is declining and some speculate is less than 22,000 or even 20,000. When it continues to decline, the mafia will come after the rest of us to make up their difference in lost profits.

I agree, MPI Mafia is scary and we need to find a new force that won’t take it from them anymore. I also think that you are an undercover secret MPI mafia mobster.

Be afwaid, be vewwy, vewwy afwwaid.